I have a confession. Everytime, when I heard talk about somebody being too nice or too kind, I see red. I just can't undestand how positive behaviour is turned to be negative and bad. For example people who are targets of bullying aren't responsible of that, because they are too nice or too kind. They are targets, because bullies behave in an inappropriate way. Our world would be much better, if more of us would pay attention to our own behaviour and be nicer/kinder.
Nice/kind to me is something, that doesn't hurt others or ourselves. We have right to be treated in a civilized way, we have a right to have our own voice and we have a right to live without threat of violence. Then we have a responsibility to say aloud, when somebody hurts us, we have a resposibility to make clear, when somebodys behaviour hurts us. Too many times we just swallow the concequences of inappropriate behaviour and the hurt that it causes.
We really should think, what is our idea of of nice child. If nice means easy, silent almost invisible child, one that doesn't cause us any work, I would think twice. Because, then we don't think the best of the child, we think only ourselves. If we want children to grow genuinely nice/kind, they need to be assertive. They need to be able to stand up and defend themselves and their opinions. And the same time they should be able to listen others and be empathic. It's not impossible to be nice/kind to others and same time to oneself, it just requires more energy and work.
Are you nice/kind to others? Are you nice/kind to yourself?